Dog Versus Train

OK I admit it, once upon a time in the distant past I did work on dogs and cats. And with that came seeing dog and cat emergencies, and monkeys, and birds, and snakes. It was that kind of a clinic. The strangest ever was the guy who owned a rat and a small bird called a Parrotlet. He came in late one night with a bite wound. The bird was bitten by the rat. I still can't figure that out.

It seemed like the dog and cat owners were more likely to call very late at night than the horse owners. I think most people are in their house at night and don't notice problems with their horse. If I do get phone calls from horse owners in the middle of the night, I always wonder what they were doing out in the barn at that time anyway.

So I get paged sometime after midnight on a Saturday night for a dog hit by a train. Somehow the owners have convinced the answering service to patch them through directly instead of waiting for me to call back. I'm barely awake and already have these very scared owners on the phone. They are being very adamant that I must meet then at the clinic immediately. Even though I'm still asleep I have the presence of mind to ask where they are - they are much further from the clinic than I am - so I will be able to get there first.

When they arrive at the clinic, I find out that these owners are not just scared, they are drunk too. In fact they have the perfect trifecta: scared, drunk, and LAWYERS! The way I found out the occupation of this unhappy dog's owners was unforgettable. I briefly looked at the dog's wounds which were impressive (he couldn't walk) and discussed with the owners the need to admit the dog and anesthetize him to take x-rays and have his wounds cleaned and closed surgically. He had a wound that extended from the back of his thigh, up over his tail to the middle of his back. Altogether the wound was over 12 inches long and contaminated with gravel and grass. In order to admit the dog and do the surgery, I asked that they sign a standard release for surgery. They came to the reception counter, looked at the release form and laughed. The guy says 'Oh, I'll sign anything you want me to sign because I can get out of it later.' This seemed like an unusual reaction to me, even though I had only been in practice for 6 months, so I asked what he meant. Then he informs me that both he and his buddy are lawyers and they can make that measly little release form invalid with barely any effort. I don't know if that was true or just drunken bravado, but it terrified me. I had him sign the form anyway.

It took some doing but I convinced the owners to go home, or at least go away. So now I am in the clinic with an elderly dog that has been hit by a train and I have to keep him alive. His x-rays didn't show any major injuries or broken bones so it was time to anesthetize him. I was really worried about the anesthesia in this old guy, but he did ok. It took a lot of flushing to clean all the gravel and grass out of his wound. Finally it seemed clean enough and I started to close the huge hole in his rump. I was really glad when that dog woke up. The next morning he was able to get up and walk. That was a big surprise. I had given him pain medication, but I didn't really expect him to be able to move on his own so soon. The only problem seemed to be that the old guy couldn't control his bladder or bowels.

The owners were at the clinic bright and early. They looked a bit worse for wear. They waited outside (fresh air) while I brought their dog out to visit. The dog wasn't able to go far so they came in to see him in the front waiting room. I had talked to the owners after surgery was done, so the only news I had to deliver was that the dog was incontinent and I couldn't predict how long that might be a problem. I was trying to explain this very thoroughly to the owner since he had been so threatening the night before and I didn't want to have any misunderstandings. He did seem much more subdued in the morning though. I was almost done with my complete explanation of the possible causes for the dog's incontinence when the owner started to fall towards me. He was passing out! He was a big guy and all I could do was steer him so he fell on the row of chairs in the waiting room. I had to take the dog back to his spot in the kennel and leave the owner's friends to resuscitate him.

That is were the visit ended that day. The owner kept a pretty low profile after that and I only had to talk to him on the phone until the dog went home. As far as I know the dog did fine and it's a good thing because I didn't have much faith in that release form.